ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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