I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
