i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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