I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize
