I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
last night I used snow as a chaser
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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