i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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