I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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