i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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