I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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