no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
