You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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