YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
