Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
FUCK WHALES
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
