i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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