Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
