some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
