Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
