So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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