Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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