I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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