Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
