i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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