It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
