all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
