I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
