Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
