i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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