I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize