Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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