craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize