dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Your cock deserves a montage
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
