That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
