THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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