sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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