Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
