Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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