If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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