hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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