I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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