I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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