Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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