i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize