i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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