I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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