problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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