Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
