I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
