I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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