Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
