After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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