i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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