I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
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You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
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Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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