i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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