I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
