I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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