I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
