I can text with my tongue
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
