mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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