She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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