10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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