Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize