Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
People in love make me want to vomit
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
