If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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